Thursday, 13 November 2014

008. One month old.

It's been ages since anyone said this to me.

"Miss, buntis ka ba?" (Miss, are you pregnant?)

Before, I would smile and shake my head--they're on good days, though. My reactions on a bad day are another story. I would growl ferociously and tell that stranger to leave, just leave. Complete with hysteria, cue in cat fight.

Just kidding.

The worst a random stranger would get from me would be a simple, offended, "No, I'm not." Things, however, are different now. Since I've gained some sense of acceptance about the extra flesh surrounding my body, I've learned to play along with answers to the world's most awkward question. And yeah, I'm a pro at this, I kid you not. Today was one of the days that I answered with complete and utter poise, "Ah, oo. One month na." (Ah, yes. One month already) Cap that with a saccharine smile! The embarrassed person who inquired about the state of my (imagined) pregnancy shifted awkwardly, and offered me a seat in the bus. I could hear a few disapproving whispers from middle-aged mammas, which I can translate roughly to, Who is this young girl, who's proud of being pregnant and unmarried. She's probably a querida.

And of course, they're wrong. I'm not young--well, if you call thirty-one young; I'm not pregnant, just fat. I'm not anybody's mistress. I don't even have a boyfriend. It's weird that I don't feel even mortally offended, just wryly amused. For one thing, I can't get a baby, so what is it going to be, Immaculate Conception? It just goes to show that people can be so quick to judge, quick to fabricate stories about people they don't know at all. And during that time, I was trying to keep a straight face.

And there were two lessons I learned that day:

1. Don't wear an empire-line blouse if you're PMS-ing.
2. I really have to do my exercises more.


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